LKG Cracks some Laughs and ABC

-A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, a Singh, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it,
looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.
A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house he went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Singh came again,looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever. Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him,“Is something wrong?”

To which the ferocious Singh replied, " There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

==========================

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came asked him, “Are you relaxing?” Singh answered, " No, I am Banta Singh."

Another guy came and asked him the same question. Singh answered, “No No Me Banta Singh!”
Third one came and asked him the same question again. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.

While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, “Are you Relaxing?” The other Singh was a lot more
educated and answered, “Yes, I am relaxing.”
The Singh slapped him on his face and said, Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"

=====================================

Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.
Jasmeet: “What are you searching for?”
Santa: “Hidden cameras!”
Jasmeet: “And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?”
Santa: “That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying ‘You are watching the Star World channel’. How does he know that?”

======================================
Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, “Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for ?”
The Singh replied “I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn’t riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too.”

====================================

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.
He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
“Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar,” he says, " it says here, ‘Answer the following questions in brief’ "

==========================================
Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell.
So the other asked, “Why are you crying?” The first one replied, “I came here for blood test”
Second one asked, “So? Are you afraid ? "
First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger”
Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, “Why are you crying?”
The other replied, “I have come for my urine test.”

=======================================
A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to
wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, “Mr. Singh, what are you
doing?”
To this the man replies,"Oye, see the board here, " Wash Basin “.”



http://longkanggang.blogspot.com/</font id=“size1”>

I received an email from Mr.D long time ago about this joke… a joke about a postman who going to retire soon.

This postman has been serving in a small town for a very long time so that everybody knows about him. Once they heard about his retirement, they on their own prepare a special occasion.

On his last day serving as a postman, he delivers snail mails as usual.

On his first house, he received a greeting card about his retirement.

On the second mailbox, the resident gave him a complimentary cake wishing him a good life after the retirement.

So, this scenario goes on as he is sending mails until the last letter.

He saw a pretty blonde waiting for him at the door. The girl invites this old postman into the house after giving the letter.

Once this old man entering the house, he saw a table well prepared for a dinner. So, he thought the dinner is for him and it is absolutely right. But the girl asks him to take a shower before taking the meal.

It came into his surprise once the girl oso gave him a good sexual intercourse apart from the superb meal.

So this old man asks this girl whether this is part of his farewell bid for his retirement?

The girl smiled and gave a nod and explained thoroughly.

The girl said: “Well, once me and my boyfriend heard about your retirement, I’m asking my boyfriend whether we could give you something…”

“My boyfriend just says, “F**k him off! Give him a $5…”

The postman being surprised! “Well… what is that dinner for?”

The girl replied: “Ohhh… that’s my own idea…” and picking up a five dollar note from her purse and gave it to the old postman…


Pushing the angling limits!

Ikan kita adalah warisan yang tak ternilai. Puliharalah ia demi generasi akan datang.

Member of Kangkang? Kangkung? Kongkang?
Yehaaa!!!</font id=“blue”> [:D]

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with 4 young
mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions, " he observed. To the first mother, he
said,“You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter
Candy.”

He turned to the second Mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.”

He turned to the third mom. “Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it
manifests itself in your child’s name, Brandy.”

At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little BOY by the
hand and whispered, “Come on, D.i.c.k, let’s go home this man is crazy.”

http://longkanggang.blogspot.com/ http://bowjenk.multiply.com
U3 2005 : Team Orang Kampung U4 2006 : Team Longkang Gang - Belida

??? D.i.c.k ke??

I come, I see, I fish!
WL
(Team Longkang Gang Kelisa U4 2006)

http://longkanggang.blogspot.com/

aa’ah..yalorrr..that word never came out..he he he

http://longkanggang.blogspot.com/ http://bowjenk.multiply.com
U3 2005 : Team Orang Kampung U4 2006 : Team Longkang Gang - Belida

ENGLISH OF TOMORROW: EU ANNOUNCEMENT

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

hahahahahaha!! gd one gulam!

[IMG]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e247/dolahpenang/logogif.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e80/adv3333/gkb1.jpg[/IMG] http://akashah.multiply.com http://longkanggang.blogspot.com/

THREE MEN AND A SIKH

During the colonial days, three friends went together to apply for a job. The prospective employer was a cocky and nasty English manager. Ah Chong was the first to be interviewed.

Manager: I’m going to ask you two simple questions, ready?
Ah Chong: Yes Sir
Manager: What will happen if I poke your left eye with my finger?
Ah Chong: I will become partially blind, Sir!
Manager: What will happen if I poke the other eye?
Ah Chong: I will become totally blind, Sir!
Manager: Very well, wait outside. Next!

As Ali was going into the room, Ah Chong told his friend, just answer “partially blind” and “blind” and you will surely pass!

Manager: I’m going to ask you two simple questions, ready?
Ali: Yes Sir
Manager: What will happen if I poke your left eye with my finger?
Ali: I will become partially blind, Sir!
Manager: What will happen if I poke the other eye?
Ali: I will become totally blind, Sir!
Manager: Very well, wait outside. Next!

Ali came out and told Singh that Ah Chong was right, just answer “partially blind” and “blind” and you will surely pass!

However, the manager suspected something fishy and decided to change the questions…
Manager: I’m going to ask you two simple questions, ready?
Singh: Yes Sir
Manager: What will happen if I cut off your left ear?
Singh: I will become partially blind, Sir!
Manager: What will happen if I cut off your other ear?
Singh: I will become totally blind, Sir!

Angry manager: Tell me how you’ll go blind if I cut off your ears?
Singh: If you cut my left ear, my turban will drop one side and cover my left eye. If you cut off my other ear, my whole turban will drop and cover my eyes completely.

Guess who got the job???


Kacuakman
Team Rapala U3 2005
http://longkanggang.blogspot.com/

Cait! Hantu ko Gulam! Nak gelak takleh satgi kerani aku cakap aku giler pulakkkk… enslyfern!


Pushing the angling limits!

Ikan kita adalah warisan yang tak ternilai. Puliharalah ia demi generasi akan datang.

Member of Kangkang? Kangkung? Kongkang?
Yehaaa!!!</font id=“blue”> [:D]

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”

Guys..

Check tis out!

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jvdkuyp/flash/see.htm

http://longkanggang.blogspot.com/ http://bowjenk.multiply.com
U3 2005 : Team Orang Kampung U4 2006 : Team Longkang Gang - Belida

kah kah kah… kelakornye…


Pushing the angling limits!

Ikan kita adalah warisan yang tak ternilai. Puliharalah ia demi generasi akan datang.

Member of Kangkang? Kangkung? Kongkang?
Yehaaa!!!</font id=“blue”> [:D]

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas… the Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY?? Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery, and even shorten your life. So, be
yourself and enjoy life … stop worrying about everyone else’s ass, and you’ll live longer and be a lot happier!

Kisah Kuih Raya…

Memandangkan hari raya dah tak lama lagi, orang dah sibuk nak order kuih
raya…tapi khabarnye penyanyi no 1 malaysia kite yang dah pun menjadik
datin “K” tuh dah pun mendapat tempahan kuih rayanyerrrrrr…

Dahsyat tul…orang baru sibuk nak order, Datin SITI NURHALIZA tu dah
dapat kuih raya…

SCROL DOWN

BATANG BURUK!!!

hehehehehe…berabuk…hampehhhhh!!!

The HTML graphics in this message

Chheerrss, T2
Be Happy Go Fisshing


Pushing the angling limits!

Ikan kita adalah warisan yang tak ternilai. Puliharalah ia demi generasi akan datang.

Member of Kangkang? Kangkung? Kongkang?
Yehaaa!!!</font id=“blue”> [:D]

who want to get new job???

mbax

http://longkanggang.blogspot.com/
cheers
life is short [8)]…go fishing while u can..[:D]..

Kalu Pasal Sembahyang, Boleh Pulang Awal…!

Seorang boss entah macam mana mood dia memang baik sungguh pada hari
nie..Sesiapa yang nak minta balik lima jam lebih awal hari nie dia
kasi tapi alasannya mestilah munasabah. Haaaa!!alasannya mestilah
pasal sembahyang ajer! Tau-tau macam tu ader 4 orang pekerja bawahan
datang mintak balik awal..

Pekerja 1 : A’kum Boss, bulih saya pulang? Saya balik nak sembahyang
kat rumah boss, leh tak?
Boss : Tak boleh!!!Kat sini kan ader surau, sembahyang jemaah lagi,
lagi banyak pahalanya..!

Pekerja 2 : Saya bulih balik awai kut Boss?
Bosss : Hang apa pasai:
Pekerja 2 : Saya nak balik tengok anak saya sembahyang zohor ker
tak? Ntah-ntah dia ponteng?
Boss : Tak boleh balik, hang telefon saja bini hang suruh dia tengok!

Pekerja 3: A’kum Boss!
Boss: Ha? pasal pulak ni?Nak balik awal gak ker?
Pekerja 3 : Errrrr!!Yer boss, boss baik!!he..heee!
Boss: Alasan apa lak ngko nie?
Pekerja 3 : Saya nak balik sembahyang orang mati..Ada orang kampung
saya ninggal pagi tadi, nak sembahyang jenazah…!Boleh kut boss yer
pulang awal?
Boss : Tak bolehhh!!!Itu far! dzu kifayah jer!Orang kampung lain yang
ramai tu boleh sembahyangkan. Doa kat sini pun boleh!!Dah!Pergi buat
kerja..

Pekerja 4: A’kum Boss! Saya nak balik awal boleh tak ari nie?
Boss : Naper?
Pekerja 4 : Isteri saya telefon, dia kater dia dah boleh sembahyang!
Boss: Yer ker? Ha! Kalu gitu awak baliklah…Kesian awak dah
seminggu nunggu!!!
Pekerja 4 : Ima Acih Boss!!!Heee..


Pushing the angling limits!

Ikan kita adalah warisan yang tak ternilai. Puliharalah ia demi generasi akan datang.

Member of Kangkang? Kangkung? Kongkang?
Yehaaa!!!</font id=“blue”> [:D]

A dangerous new virus is being distributed electronically. It is called the Worm Overload Recreation Killer (WORK). You can get WORK from your boss or colleagues. Do not touch it. The virus will wipe out your private life. If you come into contact with WORK, there are two antidotes. You can purchase Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) or Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). They’re available at your local grocery store. Take repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated.

Forward this warning to five friends. If you don’t have five friends, you’re infected with WORK and it is controlling your life.

Regards,
LaPala

LKG Member: http://longkanggang.blogspot.com/
LureMaker: http://www.pbase.com/sebarau/lure_stuff</font id=“size1”>

NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his…
4th wife… baby doll
3rd wife…china doll
2nd wife…barbie doll
1st wife… panadol !

ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
‘Your name pls.’?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
“Doesn’t matters, sometimes even camel !”

HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of “missing
persons”

GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u
can tell a woman to take
off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted
her
tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

DON’T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you
run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked
lady, I’ll turn into
stone. A part of me is getting hard already!


Pushing the angling limits!

Ikan kita adalah warisan yang tak ternilai. Puliharalah ia demi generasi akan datang.

Member of Kangkang? Kangkung? Kongkang?
Yehaaa!!!</font id=“blue”> [:D]

Two couples were playing cards one evening. John accidentally dropped

some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick

them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife Sue, legs spread wide, wasn’t

wearing any underwear!

Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on

the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get

some refreshments. Bill’s wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything

that you liked under there?"

Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that,

well,indeed he did. She said, “Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.”

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial as well as the moral

costs of this offer, John indicates that he was indeed interested.

She tells him that since her husband, Bill, works Friday afternoons

And John doesn’t, that John should be at her house around 2.00 Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill’s house for the planned

time with Sue at 2:00 PM sharp and after paying her the agreed sum of

$500, they went to the bedroom and closed their sexual transaction as Sue

had promised. Afterwards, John quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bill came home from

work at 6:00 PM and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly,

“Did John come by the house this afternoon?”

A little worried, Bill’s wife answered, “Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.”

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked," And

did he give you $500?"In terror, she assumed that somehow he had found out, and after

mustering up her best poker face, replied, “Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.”

Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying,

"Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and

borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he’d stop by our house this

afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

NOW THAT’S A POKER PLAYER!!



http://longkanggang.blogspot.com/</font id=“size1”>